i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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