Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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