If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize