pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
