She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
