awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
