talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
