Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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