Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
