separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
