did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
