Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
