the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
