can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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