Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
