im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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