You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
