Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
