im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
