I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
