she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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