Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
