Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize