I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
