my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
