Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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