38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
