There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
