fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so let's talk penis.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
