last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize