This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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