Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
