I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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