It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
