theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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