Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
