Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
