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it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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