I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
