im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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