Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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