Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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