There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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