they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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