all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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