I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So many bounce houses so little time
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
