HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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