I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just had sex on a roof
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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