WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
