Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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