Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
