I just made out with a guy for $7.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
