Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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