wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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