There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
