I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
