Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
